Dear Diary

Today I struggled with hope for the future. Hope for myself and hope for the business... If I can be totally honest, when I look at others around me prospering, I wonder will my business ever make it to the next level.  There's an influx of cake designers daily, DIYers with thousands of followers on social media. I wonder if the dreams and plans for my life will ever come true or even if it's OK to dream.  I believe I've been lied to all my life, teachers, mentors, all telling you to dream big. What is there to dream if there isn't any support, any action behind it??

But then as I was prepared to plunge deeper into despair, someone reminded me of all I have to be grateful for.  And all the many things I can still be hopeful for.  And all of a sudden the sun shone through. My mom always tells me when I'm in this place to just look back. Look through my body of work. To see how far I've come and where I've yet to go.

It's easy to compare ourselves to others, to measure our success against theirs. To put value on success based on another. When I come out of that headspace, being in despair, I'm always reminded of a scripture in the Bible. I'm paraphrasing: Truly God is good to Israel...But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of them when I saw their prosperity. - Psalm 73 
I almost always immediately fall into a state of repentance and remember to focus on my journey and be grateful.